jiaweiC

fatville

2012-01-31T16:15:00.001+08:00

Fatville,

I've told you time and again that I am not interested in your (never ending) offers of membership.

Read : Not. Interested.

Please stop offering me anything. I wish to have nothing to do with you. I understand that I constantly toy with your feelings and once , in the recent past, may even have entered into your territory. (Mistakenly, as I took the Denial Route and wound up in your town when I should've followed WhoAreYouKidding Route instead).

Please, I know they say that women always mean Yes when they say No, but trust me, when I say Yes, I mean Yes; when I say Maybe, I mean Not Likely; and when I say No, I mean Get Out of My Face, Bitch.

Enclosed is the invitation you sent me to become a " Happy Permanent Resident of Fatville"which I am returning to you with a picture of my right hand in an internationally recognised gesture.

To reiterate,

I decline.

Goodbye. Don't contact me ever.

Signed,
Me.

Quand j'étais enfant

2012-01-27T18:02:00.002+08:00

When I was younger,

I'd wake up at 7 (or earlier) in the morning on weekends to wash the car with my dad. I'd waddle out in my pajamas in a blur, the cobwebs of sleep still clinging on me and grab a sponge like a soldier. I'd like to think that dunking the sponge ( and a huge part of myself ) in the pail of soapy water and flinging it onto the bonnet and tires, scrubbing as hard as a 5/6 year old half-asleep child can, was a big help.

The mornings were different, then. The skies were a gradient of mustard to ochre. Somedays, there were even some remnants of a deep navy and a smattering of stars where earth met sky. The sun would be on his way up, the moon still lingering in the sky, slowly being erased by the lightening sky.

There was dew back then, too. It'd be all over the metallic surface of the cars and I'd always write my 6 year old "secret" (or not so secret) message in it before wiping it all away with my mighty sponge. Nobody was allowed to wipe the thin veil of dew on the cars before I'd had my say on them. Sometimes, my dad would've started without me, but he'd leave a patch for me because I'd throw a semi tantrum otherwise.

On days where there was no dew, I remember being slightly disappointed.

The air was chilly, but I had my matching long sleeved and long pant pajamas on, so I'd be okay.

I can't remember ever being unhappy these early mornings. In fact, all I remember is being blissfully carefree and happy, thinking that I really am cleaning this whole big automobile on my own. The streets were quiet. It was just us. (we had hired help, but this moment was ours and she wasn't allowed to wash the car WE were washing. she could do another one but not ours) and the crisp dewy morning air. and the bucket of soapy water. and the hose that'd sometimes be aimed at me and I'd respond with shrieks of unadulterated joy.

It was early enough, sometimes, for us to see the newspaper man on his rounds. The postman on his, too. Back then, we didn't have a dog, so every time one went by, I'd pause and stare at it longingly. Back then, it didn't matter what kind of dog it was. Every breed every mongrel, every rat-looking four legged hound was a dear to me. Even the big dobermans living down the road.

(Obviously, now I am quite specific with the types of dogs I'd like to own. chihuahuas are the first on my NO list)

Then, somewhere along the line, getting up early on weekends stopped appealing to me and I'd rather sleep in. It'd start out as me missing out on our early morning washes every other week, then it became once a month that I'd actually bother to get up... and then it stopped altogether. I got "older", thought this was not worth the effort to get up.

My dad still went on washing the cars, but now without an overexcited child dancing in soap water around the vehicles and re-dirtying parts that were already cleaned.

If I could, I'd wake up early every weekend.

And do it all over again.

Do You Want A First?

2012-01-20T02:05:00.000+08:00

Whenever I feel like a giant-assed sloth spending its time waddling around the internet doing nothing productive or just sleeping in like a hibernating lump of laziness, I only need to ask myself that question.

If the answer is yes, I get the fk off my lazy ass and sit it down where it belongs (in a study chair) and do my work. No, not open 1 tab on my reading and 3 tabs on gossip columns and facebook. I sit the fk down and do my work and only my work.

If the answer is no, I walk myself to London Bridge with a big rock in my arms.

Then,

I jump.

2011-->2012

2012-01-18T02:23:00.000+08:00

For the 2nd year in a row, went skiing in the french alps. I am certain that :

1. I was born in the wrong country because I was meant to ski

2. I have a mild case of francophilia. Mild.

View from our accommodation, UCPA La Plagne 1800 (as in 1800 m above sea level)

Ski all day, Party all night

Get drunk enough to endure the long walk home because the cursed shuttle bus never came.

Good company makes for a jolly good time

My Hero.

Carving the turkey whilst the audience salivated

Dayum good turkey. I hold that this will be one of the best if not The Best turkeys I'll have in this lifetime.

Mingling with the Crazies on boxing day. Head throbbed just looking at the sheer number of people on Oxford Street.

Winter Wonderland @ Hyde Park

Can't ever be sad in a place like this. Even if you tried, you'd fail.

Fistbumped Santa.

Won a big plushie from playing archery. (and unashamedly asking for more arrows when the 5 was given failed to hit all 4 balloons on the board) Guess all those summer Club Med activities helped.

Borough Market, London.

Really quite expensively priced food for a "market". But novelty has a price, I suppose.

O yeah?

New Year's Eve dinner with good company, bubbly, good food, and a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN.

Jizzed

@ The Menier Chocolate Factory

Still can't quite justify the 1* Michelin star price I paid at that restaurant (which was not michelin starred) for the NYE set menu. But owells. Bygones be bygones and all that.

Bumped into a vaguely familiar guy in the restaurant. Had a chat.

Marked a Mellon

2 Hakkas et al.

harhar.

I look at this and I am amazed at the ability of facial muscles to distort in such a fashion.

Went to Bristol for a week and climbed a fairy-tale like tower to get this view with the moon sneaking into the sky.

Tower I conquered.

Spell

2012-01-16T06:02:00.001+08:00

For some reason, I've been experiencing a spell of bad luck recently. The events I'm about to list down may not seem particularly harrowing to the average person, but to me it's bad, because I've generally had good luck (or at least, no bad luck). The wheel of fortune turns, je suppose.

In the past 72 hours, I've

1. Contracted a bacterial infection in my right eye from excessive use of contacts and am now under a strict "no lenses for 2 weeks" order as well as antibiotic eye drops.

- Said antibiotic eyedrops flow through some unknown canal from my eye and to the back of my throat every time I use them, so I taste a bitterness at the back of my mouth 4 times a day, now.

- After 2 days of wandering around half blind (glasses make my eyes tire really quick), today I walked out of the house with one lens. In my left eye. Not sure how my brain adjusted to that.

2. Broke my 4th bowl in 3 months.

- Except this time, the bowl didn't belong to me. It belonged to YX. And this is the 2nd bowl of hers I've broken.

- It's a christmas Santa bowl

- It's no longer Christmas. Where do I find a Christmas bowl?

3. Grew a pimple

- on my LEG

4. Had a Henna Tattoo done on my neck

- Cost me £15, which serves me right for not asking the price before requesting for "twirly curls below my ear"

- Looks kinda crap cos I had my chinese name written by a guy who was from Egypt. I should have known not to trust the "ah! Piece of cake! when I requested for a 薇" Really? that's a piece of cake? it took me 2 years of kindergarten chinese education to get that right.

- The Henna stings my skin and it's now slightly raw

- It lasts for 2 weeks. That's two weeks living with this thing on my neck. I can't even scrub it off cos my skin's all red and angry and sensitive already.

- Given how I feel now, I'm probably never going to get a tattoo. worse than marriage.

In the Christmas of 2011,

2012-01-12T20:12:00.000+08:00

I fistbumped Santa.

pro.

Hand on Heart,

2012-01-12T04:00:00.002+08:00

What I'd like to be able to honestly say is,

Je m'en fous,

Je m'en fiche,

Donc,

Vas te faire foutre.

[et on répète]

Je m'en fous,

Je m'en fiche,

Sì, je veux dire que: je m'en fous ! je m'en fiche!

[Encore une fois! Tu n'as pas la conviction, ma cherie!]

Je m'en fous,

Je m'en fiche,

Donc,

Vas te faire foutre!

Malheureusement, c'est pas vrai,

est-il?

Hello, from Stockholm

2012-01-12T03:45:00.009+08:00

[Many visit the capital of Sweden. Never thought I'd go there, though. But there, I am.]

You know how sometimes there's this (sticky) situation you find yourself in and you know to get the hell out of there asap but somehow there's this niggling, infinitesimally small reason** to go on staying in said hole and stay, you do.

Then you keep looking up and around and telling yourself, man this isn't so bad, there's the sky and it's sunny and amidst the overbearing smell of earth and the occasional waft of fkin' manure in and around your pit, you catch a pleasant (albeit fleeting) whiff of grass and flowers every time the breeze swims by. Sometimes a bird flies above your vertical grave and by some miracle of the universe manages to drop a splat* right smack on your head but you shrug and think : oh well, life. it's bound to rain soon and then this caked up shit in my hair will get washed off.

Although, that really should have been the last straw that should've sent you clawing your way up and out. (Tell me again why you're still there? Really, half hearted attempts at raking through the mud walls are just pathetic 'cos now you've just got grime under your nails)

*Sometimes you get splattered on by no fault of your own. Other times, you just walk right into it, albeit knowing you're gonna hate how you smell after.

The way the world is made, rain it does, eventually. Along with washing your now filthy hair and face, it also fills up your quicksand pit and you face the rain with no parapluie and think : okay, imma get outta here when the water fills up and I get bobbed up to the surface like an apple in a barrel.

But it takes time to collect enough to fill up your cell. The earth absorbs some, the sky takes some, you drink some, then there isn't much left to bob you to the top.

Naturally, as the earth's thirst is quenched, the sky has had her fair share of pregnant clouds ready to burst, (enough to flip off the sun and eclipse its presence) and she starts to clap clap clap and flash flash flash overhead, and most of all, you tire of drinking rain water clouded with dirt (sometimes sprinkled with manure as an extra special treat), then and only then do you get to
bop bop to the top! doodah.

Raise your hand, uncurl that middle digit face it to the heavens, give the now non-existent grave a good hard flip engaging all muscles in your finger... then skip to your lou, far far away.

Fin.

Deconstructing all the above and stuffing them into a nutshell,

il y a des gens qui restent en place jusqu'a le jour qu'ils ne peuvent plus rester. Et puis, ils partent (ils laissent). C'est facile (en surface).

ça c'est tout, et il n'y a pas d'autres choses.

**(which came up after much self-delusion and illogical rationalising, coated with a thick-ass layer of make-believe)

Imagery

2012-01-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

The first couple of times, I heard Glock when it was "take a walk"

Every once in a while, you find words beautifully stringed together

2012-01-10T08:52:00.003+08:00

feet don't fail me now, take me to the finish line

it's like i told you, honey

Don't make me sad, Don't make me cry.

Sometimes Love Is Not Enough

and the roads get tough, I Don't Know Why

keep making me laugh, let's go get high

the road is long, we carry on,

try to have fun in the meantime

video here

Ships that never sink - Part 2

2012-01-09T10:32:00.001+08:00

Begin slew of outdated pictures, circa 2008/2009.

oh wow, I used to be quite a lot thinner.

Check out the progression of the hand towards the offered jar of (presumedly) candy

Many people think I don't care for other people.

They're mostly right.

Because truth is, I really do have a limited amount of attention and care to give out and there're very few people for whom I really do give 2 shakes about. If I don't care, I don't see the point of pretending and asking pointless questions " How are you" when I tune out the answers anyways

It's not how often I ask after you, or how much I talk to you or how many times I see you in a year that measures my love for a person.

It's the fact that I could talk to you once every couple of months,

See you once a year,

Go for months without communicating with you ,

But in the end, when we do meet and we do talk, we pick up right where we left out sans the awkwardness or the halts from the long absences

and by you I mean everyone in my bubble of a life for whom I'd give up time and effort for

That, is just how I function.

I really don't care what people think about me, so if I'm told to my face that I'm heartless for not caring, I'd just shrug and move on with life.

Can't be arsed to reply, really.

Brunch and I have a "thing" going on

2012-01-09T09:29:00.002+08:00

I'd love to tell you that I ate all the above with gusto, but the sad truth is that I simply can't afford to. All of the above were prepared by me, but the ones that look like they're >400 calories were not (sadly) devoured by me.

Although I do take a certain amount of pleasure from preparing a nice hearty brunch without the need to watch how much oil I use or how big a chunk of butter or cheese I chuck in. Even if I'm not the end consumer.

If you like what you see and would like me to prepare you something like that....

harhar.

drôle

Ships that never sink

2012-01-09T03:44:00.001+08:00

2012

2012-01-06T07:12:00.000+08:00

Bonne année et Bonne santé

If you've decided you're gonna have a good year, a good year you shall have.

When shit comes ( because shit comes flying our way whether we like it or not, sometimes ), you pick up your bat and take a wide, winning smack at it and send it right back.

Don't forget to turn your face away to avoid the splatter.

15 Days

2011-12-11T03:30:00.000+08:00

quinze jours

Everything feels more magical and tingly this time of year.

FatNation is offering me a residential pass again, but I'm trying my best to not have to accept.

Hey,

2011-12-04T04:30:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas

The happiest season of my year

La Vérité

2011-12-01T09:21:00.001+08:00

La volonté de donner

avec abnégation

c'est pas quelque chose que chacun peut comprendre

Libre

2011-11-30T02:07:00.000+08:00

Comme des Garçons

Live

2011-11-29T00:27:00.000+08:00

... like you might die at any moment in time,

because one never knows.

I was walking down the street ..

2011-11-22T15:34:00.001+08:00

Je me promenais dans la rue...

...Quand j'ai vu un homme qui était perdu

Quelle bonne chance, vraiment

2 down

2011-11-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

After hurting ( nearly breaking ) my middle finger by slamming it in the door after peeing in a blur at 4am and slicing open my 2nd finger by breaking my cereal bowl whilst trying to navigate it into the microwave half asleep the next day, I have now come to realise how much I use my middle finger in everyday life. You'll be surprised how handicapped one becomes sans use of the middle finger.

How is it already November?

2011-11-18T04:24:00.000+08:00

Gustav Klimt @ Austria

I love this series of his work.

Death and Life

Gustav Klimt

Egon Schiele

Actually cannot be 100% sure this is Schiele, as I didn't take down the name of the artist, but I'm pretty sure it is his, as the style seems to suggest so.

I love how Schiele paints passion wrecked with an underlying tone of somberness, how the pain and intensity in his work makes it so beautiful

Amber

Cemetery @ Salzbug, Austria.

Leather micro-mini

Stumbled upon a treasure of a little tea place near Soho.

1:54

2011-11-16T09:57:00.000+08:00

Nous nous sentons ce que nous pouvons,

et rien de plus.

5 degrees

2011-11-16T09:46:00.001+08:00

and I'm frozen

1 week, 2 countries, 10 cities

2011-11-15T07:21:00.000+08:00

On the tour bus

Notre Dame de La Garde @ Marseille, France

Marseille

Nice, France

Côte d'Azur, Nice

Ma Famile sans ma soeur, Novembre 2011

Monaco

Monte Carlo, Monaco. 2nd smallest country in the world, after the Vatican city.

Pigeon

The gusts of wind and flurry of rain made us seek shelter in a stationary tour train

Cliffs of Monaco

Café de Paris for lunch, Monaco.

Casino @ Monte Carlo

Il Duomo @ Milan, Italy

Verona, home of the Capulets and Montagues. Italy.

Venezia, Italy.

Squid Ink Pasta

Caught Unawares

Pisa, Italy

Pisa, Italy.

11.11.2011

Climbing up the Leaning Tower

La Nouvelle

2011-11-05T07:54:00.000+08:00

Birthdays , Cocktails and Bling

2011-10-27T05:31:00.001+08:00

Aftermath

Keywords

2011-10-22T17:57:00.001+08:00

Silk and Leather.

When these two are on the label, I'm already half-sold on it.

Si tu penses que ton sourire est trop cher,

2011-10-20T06:25:00.001+08:00

If your smiles are too precious to give away. Or if your default face is a slappable one, get out of the service industry and do something where you can scowl and be rude all day.

Like cleaning lavatories.

Écoutez-Vous

2011-10-18T06:50:00.000+08:00

The one thing I cannot stand for most is people telling me how to live my life.

Constructive criticism and suggestions are always welcome (ie :jiawei, that bread is green you prolly shouldn't eat it) but don't go nitpicking on details and playing that record on loop because my eyes/your head will roll. If I wanna eat mouldy bread and am happy doing so, let me eat the mouldy bread!

---

Pictures from Austria to offset the mild angst above.

one of the settings where The Sound of Music was filmed in Salzburg.

The Old City, Salzburg

On a Train to Werfen, with ice caves and a(nother) fort.

Gorgeous Werfen

Spot the fort

Coming?

Cable car ride up up upp to the fort

Voila le fort

ne comprends pas

Medieval Chastity Belt. Good luck, hombres.

I just can't get enough of the beauty of this place. Despite being born and raised in a city, I can't help but feel more connected to beautiful countrysides like these

Tour guide in costume. She spoke only German and the rest of us had to rely on hand-held audio guides.

Another setting from the Sound of Music film

Road to Neverwhere

tourist traps

Outside a monastery where they served afternoon meals and home-brewed beer

Knocking on Heaven's Door (no, really)

Budget flights = Cabin luggages

Vienna, Austria

Ma homies

Amarantis, Vienna. 5/5 service, 4/5 food, 5/5 ambience and definitely a must-go.

All photo credits : KennyK + MarcusC

eagerly anticipating reading week when I'll be hopping over to France and Italy to meet mes parents et mon petit frère.

Sunday Afternoon

2011-10-17T09:21:00.000+08:00

RIM is in deep deep trouble

2011-10-12T18:16:00.002+08:00

For the past 48 hours, blackberry users all across Europe, the Middle East and Africa have been ramming their skulls against metaphorical walls every time they try to send an e-mail/ whatsapp message/ bbm/ browse the internet with their phones. Said Wall of Extreme Frustration was built by Research in Motion, the brains (or, as it recently seems, lack of) behind the once handy and once relevant Blackberry Smartphones.

From the little I gathered from the internet, the reason for this highly embarrassing, extremely frustrating, big big losses and angry mobs guaranteed failure in service is due to a server collapsing in Europe. This was further hinted to be attributed to the high volume of users that RIM could not accommodate.

I am perplexed by this.

I am sure that a large volume of blackberry users that could potentially crash a server that was previously working like a dream didn't just magically appear overnight. Surely RIM knew the capacities of their servers and the volume that they can support? If it'd been obvious that the servers were straining, should they not have addressed the issue earlier on?

If one were gaining weight progressively and at an exponential manner, would one wait until one's pants no longer fit to buy new ones or should one march oneself over to the nearest departmental store and get oneself some new trousers? Would one wear the same pants and live in De Nial until the pants up and tear at the seams then disintegrate, leaving one's lower body going al commando and everything swinging in the breeze down south?

I fail to see any sort of compensation that service providers may offer their clients that will properly pacify us. What I want (and probably will never get) is to NOT pay this month's phone bill because of this interruption in service. My Blackberry 9900 is now as useful as the Nokia 3310 I had 10 years ago. Text messages + Phone Calls. It's like hiring Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory to build Volcano science projects or Plastic Bottle Rocket experiments. Or using an Hermés scarf to wipe down toilet seats at the public WC.

Utterly hopeless.

Futhermore, what with the whirlwind of drama happening at Apple (I'd say RIM's rivals but clearly, RIM is on the way to being being obsolete now, so no competition there) , the release of the iPhone 4s + Steve Job's passing, I can almost picture all the Blackberry users in the world (save a stubborn few who just shelled out £500 for the new phone) crossing over to the Light which is any of the many big airy Apple stores and getting themselves an iphone 4s , saving themselves from this deep pit of frustration dug by RIM to bury all its users.

Ah, I read that users in Asia are experiencing BIS service interruptions, too. One wonders how RIM hopes to come back from this. Are they really "working hard to fix the problem"? Because from what I see, they clearly are not working hard enough because this is about the 55th hour I've held in my hand a useless device that claims to be a Smartphone but is only a level above a payphone right now. BIS resumes sporadically and each time they advise that you remove your batteries and sim card, wait 20 seconds while praying for the will to not smash your phone against the wall, re-insert battery sans sim card, restart phone, re-insert sim card, restart phone, and cross your fingers and toes that the date service is back on.

A load of crap , really, and I say this as a user who has done the aforementioned steps about 3 times in the last 2 days now. If this is a stall tactic that RIM uses, it really isn't a very good one and only serves to up the wrath of users.

Oh, RIM..

What shalt thou do?

goodluck surviving the fury of blackberry users (almost) worldwide.

If they do manage to bounce back from this, it will be a worthy case study for other flailing companies. (Recall previous such case studies : BP, SK2, GAP... etc)

Parli Italiano, mes chères.

2011-10-12T00:34:00.000+08:00

Buon Giorno!

Mi chiamo jiawei.

Come stai?

Benessimo!

J'étudie française tout même, mais maintenant avec Italien aussi!

Molto bene!

Ciao ou on dit Au Revoir!

Salzburg, Austria

2011-09-28T17:22:00.001+08:00

When we were in Salzburg.

This little town, surrounded by mountains on every side, is one of the most beautiful places I've had the luck to be in. The whole place just exudes a tranquility that major cities will never be able to provide. One feels an immediate sense of calm upon seeing the reassuring sight of towering alpine mountains that border this town. Historically, the many fortresses that sit atop these mountains have kept Salzburg safe. Today, they still do.

Horse carriages are a norm here. I should think only tourists take them, though.

It was sunny everyday that we were there. Perfect weather.

The Old Town of Salzburg

The most posh McDonald's sign I've ever seen

Traditional Austrian cuisine

Salad with the finest slices of ham and cheese

Tureen of goulash soup

Deep Fried Chicken

Beef Goulash with a ginormous dumpling.

This is a traditional Austrian "dumpling" that they call a "Canoodle(?)". I can't tell how it's spelled because as far as I understood from the Austrian waiter, it is a canoodle.

Deep Fried Chicken came with potato salad.

Pork Schnitzel with rice and plum sauce

Our Hostel - YoHo International Youth Hostel

Rooms - Good and clean, with individual lockers that are opened by your keycards (keycards are individual and are used for the dorm door and your assigned lockers)

Staff- Very friendly and helpful.

Toilets - One of the best equipped toilets in a hostel. Well-lit, clean, comfortably sized shower cubicles, with a row of hairdryers provided. (Note: towels not provided by hostel, but available for rent)

Food - Very good value for money. Breakfast is all you can eat for 3.50 Euros, serving bread, ham, cheese, juices, cereals, yogurt, tea, coffee, hot chocolate.

Dinner averaged about 6-8 euros.

Facilities - More than adequate. Bar (pictured above) serving v cheap drinks, a movie room playing movies nightly, free wifi, laundry (costs about 4 euros for washing and drying), bike rental for 10 euros a day

Information- More than enough information regarding day-trips to the ice caves, fortresses and neighbouring Germany. You don't even have to figure out what you want to do beforehand. Just take your pick when you get to the hostel

The International crowd that YoHo draws

All photos are credited to Marcus and Kenny

Time to reign in the wild and bring forth the tame

2011-09-24T09:53:00.000+08:00

Amarantis@ Vienna, Austria . Amazing

School's starting again and I'm in London again after a week of pre-schoolterm travelling that was meant to be a sort of kickstart for the new school year.

I don't know if anyone feels the same, but I feel like I live 2 lives, one at home and one in London. At first, I brought over so much from my life at home to my new life in a new place, but as the years went by, I realise that I'm bringing less and less because I've settled in in what has now become my second home.

When home, I feel like my life in London is so far-away and surreal. When I'm back for school, I feel the same about my life back home, with the fact that I've barely lived for a cumulated year in our new house further driving the sentiment in.

This year's going to be a real tough one.

I keep thinking I can do it, but hand to heart, the fear of incompetence creeps up every time I even approach the subject of grades in my head and I swallow it down and forcefully shove it out of my head before it turns me into a frenzied, panicked mess.

With all that being said, I don't see how anything can go wrong because it's do or do.

Don't know if this will make any sense to anyone reading this. I don't reckon anyone will really get it except for maman et papa (hello to you, I know you're reading this)

Just thought I'd give this frequent writing thing another go because it helps me get my thoughts in order, even if it's only written for myself.

bonne nuit à tous

+ living in a top floor topsy turvy flat facing a main road with obviously inebriated people screaming hollering outside at 3 am has a certain ... je sais pas about it.

Sometimes, I like to know something special's mine

2011-08-27T14:54:00.000+08:00

I quite like the idea of personalising things I own.

Adds a touch of character as well as a casual (yet undeniable) " mine" stamp on it.

Sur Mes Lèvres

2011-08-23T22:28:00.001+08:00

I like myself some lipstick.

when I was younger, I'd hoard tubes and tubes of lipgloss in varying shades of nude and light-pink and those were the only lipcolours I'd use.

The lipstick bit only came later. In fact, very recently. I'd say within the last year

I never thought I'd be able to pull of bright-red lips. But then I bought my first red lipstick , Gabrielle, from Chanel and I loved it.

And I've loved it ever since

My routine make-up goes as such: Kohl/Cream eyeliner , Hypnôse Mascara, lip balm and a lip colour. I skip the last step altogether if I'm at work, though, as it's probably too striking and hard to maintain anyways.

Lipstick in a red wine hue.

Un objet magnifique

2011-08-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

I love beautiful things. Soft, luxurious egyptian cotton towels in dark colours (forest green is a favourite), sateen-y bedsheets and duvet covers that promise deep, untroubled sleep, bright red and wine coloured lipsticks, and also the rare piece that catches my fancy

Possibly one of the most beautiful items I own is this Venetian Mask I got from Venice this Summer, in June.

I love the intricate details, the gorgeous contrast of black and gold, the magnificently proud glittered edges and the beautiful lace detail. Also the simplistic black rope threaded with gold that contours this proud visage

In the mask shop in a little alleyway in Venice, I was initially drawn to a much bigger, bolder, more magnificent mask that cost all of 600 euros. Which made it an instant no. Besides, I wouldn't be able to haul it with me for the rest of the Eurotrip or even get it to fit in my luggage, anyways.

And I doubt my dad would understand the appeal of a MYR 3000 papier-mâché wall decoration

It's been sitting around my room for 2 months now.

It's time I find a nice, vintage-looking nail and get this piece of art hung over my bed. It'll be my pièce de résistance.

Revival

2011-08-13T19:39:00.003+08:00

The author(s?) of this blog went through a phase of extreme privacy, not wanting to reveal much of their life, so I'm going to pick up from here and try to write without compromising too much personal information.

Here's a picture of Pulau Perhentian, Malaysia. One of the most beautiful and un-touched islands I've ever been to.

Running out to dinner, tbc.

After 1 week of work

2011-07-04T16:14:00.000+08:00

Ever since I started my summer internship, hereafter known as "work", my favourite comic strip has become Dilbert.

I have never found Dilbert funny....

until today.

I feel like saying..

Dilbert bro, I feel you.

1 girl

2011-05-29T09:45:00.000+08:00

1 suit case

2 weeks on the road.

Will.

She.

Make

It?

Heard it all before

2011-05-21T03:54:00.000+08:00

" Uni is going to be easy "

Brought to you by the same people who brought you :

" UPSR is tough now, but wait till you get to secondary school. It will be so much easier"

" PMR is tough now, but once you get 8As and get into the science stream, life will be a breeze"

" SPM is difficult now, but just get 11As and you'll falala your way through Pre-U"

" AS is challenging, but get 4As and you'll not have to work as hard for A2"

anddd...

"A2 is limbo, but wait till you get to the Pearly Gates of Uni , your lecturers will tell you everything that'll be tested in examinations"

Yeah, never going to believe them when they say that working life will be a pina colada at a beach.

Mom, The Truth is Out

2011-05-12T08:01:00.000+08:00

I honestly do not know how I did 11 papers in a month when I was 17.

Because now I only have 5 subjects and I feel like it's eating my soul.

I have henceforth concluded that my mom had been slipping me speed throughout my younger schooling days and now that I'm off it, my superhuman powers have gone.

DEAR HAKKA CHONG

2011-05-04T01:49:00.000+08:00

MERRY 21st BIRTHDAY!

May the Hakka in you be the pronest it can

And

huhu

Hakka Out!

Heartbreaking News

2011-05-03T05:13:00.000+08:00

Today I found out that my newfoundlove, Le Pain Quotidien and mynewfoundlovers,

Le Hazelnut and Raisin Flute and Le Vegan Blueberry Muffin.... Are both ... Fatties.

1st one's 330 kcal. 2nd one's 400kcal. Together, they're.... I can't count up that far.

But it's Vegan!

That's what I thought too.

Oh, the heartache.

Prada,

2011-05-03T05:10:00.000+08:00

Seriously,

Why?

In These Last Moments...

2011-05-02T20:16:00.000+08:00

I have detached myself as best I can from all the evils of distraction.

Facebook - password changed and I don't know it so I don't bother signing in. I swear, facebook has become the biggest evil of all time. Destroys lives! Breaks attention spans! Blasts willpowers to smithereens!

If I'm not playing tetris, I'm playing word challenge. If not that, geo challenge. If not that, Who Has The Biggest Brain wtg.

So the last one tells me I have a brain of an alien master....

But then why can't an alien master explain Roy's Identity properly.

Huhu. J'ai beaucoup de peur . Les examens sont cette jeudi huhu... pas assez de temps!

I love Le Pain Quotidien.

The best raisin and hazelnut flute.

The best walnut brown loaf

The bestEST OF ALL TIME: Vegan blueberry muffin <3<3<3 forever.

Is that really a name?

2011-04-28T12:07:00.000+08:00

They were sitting outside a little cafe having lunch. All was silent amongst the trio except for the furious taptaptaptapTAP of the blackberry keys as they chatted with another 2 friends ... on bbm (bane of all students')

At the cafe were A,W, and.. N. HAHAHAH . zomg. ANW were at the cafe. B and R weren't.

Excerpt of chat log:

B (male): I don't know! I don't want to eat! Don't have to buy me back food!

W : For god's sake, you're not fat. That's your vajayj*y speaking. Stop being such a female.

W: Your name should be Bernard in the day and Bernadice at night.

A: Bendover is a better name.

Looking up from the blackberry screenm I thought it over for 3 seconds...came up blank... then looked at A seated next to me at the table and asked:

"Seriously? Is Bendover really a name? "

----

On a separate note,

I have good news and bad news to share.

Good News: If your blackberry falls into the toilet bowl, you have 3 seconds to stick your hand in, grab it out, then proceed to run it under the tap.

More Good News: RICE works ! If at first your blackberry flops lifelessly when you attempt to resuscitate it, fear not! Bury it in a bowl of rice and it'll work after the rice has absorbed all the water (pee?) in your phone!

Bad News : Camera refuses to work but that's okay! You'll be pressing your face into milli particles of whatever you let down the loo before your phone fell in but that's okay too!

right?

Oh. And if it was poop in the toiletbowl that your phone fell into, just flush your phone away. It's not worth it.

Knock Knock

2011-04-22T07:09:00.002+08:00

Knock Knock.

Who's There?

Karmas.

Karmas Who?

Karma'sHereToBiteYouInTheA**,Beetch.

Seems like the more I hate something, the more prone I am to encountering it.

I fear hair in my food.
3/10 times I'm eating food prepared by others, I. Find. Hair.

I fear other people's shit.
Their shit finds me.

What is wrong with this world? I conclude that Karma is teaching me a lesson because I'm always so mean to people like when my friends trip or get hit by automatic doors, I just burst out laughing with unrestrained joy.

This is my punishment.

Karma, thou art a cruel wench.

--------

After my previous post on feces earlier today, I walked into the Birkbeck library toilet this afternoon to be greeted by this huge mutha of all feces lying in the stark whiteness of the loo bowl like it's swimming in it's own private hot tub. Just.... lying.... there...

JUST LYING THERE!!!! $%^&*()(&^%$£@£$%^&*( as though no attempt was even made to send that shit into the black hole of oblivion where it belongs.

And that (from hereonforth, said sacrilegious object shall be referred to as that thing) was huge. oh my lord (Happy Good Friday y'all), was it huge. It looked like ...

Waitrose's Stone Baked Harvester Petit Pain. (£0.57)

This is my favouritest bread of all time. In fact, so favourite that I bought myself one for dinner even after suffering through such obscene images as..... that thing and having my brain automatically come up with a comparison to an edible foodstuff that happens to be my dearly beloved Stone Baked Harvester Petit Pain ILoveYouForever.

Please, be considerate. If you're reading this, you know you WANT to do YOUR part to stop these atrocities! Because people (like me) are victimised everyday by these horrendous acts!!! We are scarred!!! For Life!!!! If you cut us, do we not bleed?

I innocently stumbled into the stall and had my retinas burnt with the toxic particles emitted by that thing... I suffered trauma that carries it's own lifetime warranty and am now going through post traumatic stress disorder... (especially after finishing that bread for dinner and thoroughly enjoying it despite images of that thing still running rampant in my head). I blanched and hurled , turned around and slapped the woman next to me hard (she never saw it coming) and then I tore my hair out whilst screaming like a savage beast and ran out of the loo on all fours and into the forest where I tore off my shirt and ran to save Bella

Lost track.

But you get my point. It's traumatising.

ALSO!!! I've seen, several times, shit stains on the edges of the toilet seat.

.___.

Really? Really people? REALLY? £$%^&*()(*&^%$£@£$%^&*()

That is my crude drawing of the sheer impossibleness of mis-firing your load, beautifully illustrated and coupled with the ratio of the size of an average toilet seat to the size of an average A-hole. My maths is shamefully bad but I'm pretty sure I got the ratios right. As in. I mean to say that the size of the toilet seat opening is at least 20 times bigger than the size of your A hole. Not the other way around.

EDIT: omg. I really did get the ratios wrong. I googled ratio and it told me I was wrong. Apparently, my ratio reads as : 20 Toilet Seats = 1 of Your A-Hole. I can't be bothered drawing another one, so live with it.

How can you mis-aim when the inventors of the modern world have given you such a big bull's eye with plenty of room for error? How? How does one manage to get shit on the edge of the seat when faced with such impossible odds?

It's like throwing a tennis ball into a football goal post from 3 steps away , with no obstructions. and hitting the goal post instead of the vastness of the net...

Which leaves me to think that these people must be doing it on purpose. I don't know why. But they must be. And to think they are female. Disgraceful.

Whatever it is, Stop. It.

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!!!!!

I hope this is the last time I am ever agitated enough to spend 30 minutes writing about feces. Please, God.

Amen.

Don't Do This To Me

2011-04-21T18:43:00.000+08:00

People, I don't care if you're a MAN or a WOMAN.

Whenever you use the toilet, we've all got to have some CODE OF RESPECT for others and YOURSELF. Use the toilet in a DIGNIFIED manner, puh-leez. It's not like you're doing it in a hand-dug hole in the middle of the jungle whilst watching for poisonous leaves, guerillas and anacondas, because if that were the case, by all means, please be as messy as you like or possibly can. BUT NO! You're doing it in a nice, (once) clean environment with FREE loo roll provided ! Please use as much as you can. Nobody's gonna come bite your behind. Stay calm and carry on.

It just makes me blanch and wanna hurl, cry, and slap the nearest person hard when I go in the loo and see shit lying around (literally) where it ain't got no business being. People, I don't care who you are, your shit still stinks and it ain't pretty.

Think of your poopoo and peepee as private pictures that you took on a drunken night and that shows very compromising positions of yourself that you somehow managed to contort into with the aid of ~~some~~ an obscene amount of that which we shall now refer to as..... firewater.

You don't ever wanna let anyone else see those pictures. You'd wanna destroy them and blast them into oblivion forevermore.

Same. Thing. applies for your waste!

FLUSH. PLEASE. FLUSH FLUSH FLUSH. If at first you don't succeed, TRY AND TRY AGAIN! STAY IN THAT CUBICLE AND FLUSH WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT. FLUSH IN RAPID SUCCESSION! please. please flush. please.

Also,

If you sprinkle when you tinkle...

fkin wipe the toilet seat clean before you leave, b*tch!

Student Life - A Summary

2011-04-20T20:17:00.001+08:00

Financial Summary:

Waiter :... and to drink?
Student (after a fleeting confirmative glance at all seated at the table, with minuscule and almost undetectable heads nodding affirmative) : Water for all, please.
Waiter : Still or Sparkling?
Student : Tap.

Social Life Summary:

Shots (Vodka,Tequila,Sambuca?) : Fast and Furious. (and relatively cheaper)
Mixers (Coke and Bacardi, Vodka Coke, etc) : For the weak.
Alcopop (Smirnoff Ice) : For the weaker.
Beer : For football matches. Enter pub, order 1x beer, stay all night.
Champagne : Snitched off one of the "rich kid" tables at a club.

Working Life Summary :

Biggest Concerns : 9am Lecture and what to have for lunch.

Greatest Challenge Faced :

Examinations.

Stage 1: 8 weeks to go, plenty of time. Wanna play frisbee later?

Stage 2: EXAMMMM! I WANNA DIE! EVERY DAY WANNA DIE! DIE DIE DIE DEI DEI DEI DIE. sei la sei la pokai la pokai la. tiu la tiu la!!!

Stage 3: Found Religion.

Home Life Summary:

Student A : Hey, I can't leave the house to go to the library yet because I have no pants to wear.

Student B : whaaa...?

Student A : Yeap, just did my laundry.*
(*When doing laundry, student code says that one must put ALL clothes in so as to maximise the utility** gained from spending £3-£5 on the washing)

Student B: I know what you mean (solemn moment of understanding is shared) . I once had to do a load of laundry consisting of only underwear because I'd run out.

Student A + Student B --> A bond is formed by mutual understanding of the hardships of life.

** : I study Economics. I need to show off with wonderfully Economic terms once in a while just to prove to all (and assure myself) that what I'm studying is worthwhile.

------------

The public condemns prostitution because it's getting paid for one's body, but sluts are okay because they're not "selling".

Economists : Given a choice between being a slut and being a prostitute, consumer rationality says that being the prostitute is the better option, because one can gain extra units of utility from the money earned whilst simultaneously retaining the utility gained from the "pleasures of the job".

Utility of Prostitute = Utility of Money Earned (M) + Utility of Job Pleasure (P)
( Using a model with no pimps and assume ceteris paribus )

Utility of Slut = Utility of Pleasure (P)

Therefore, Utility of Prostitute > Utility of Slut.

Opportunity Cost of being a slut : Utility of Money Earned.

----------

The End.

Written By : Jiawei Choo

Vingt-et-Un à Paris

2011-03-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

Quick Tip Of The Day

2011-03-17T01:49:00.000+08:00

I was just reading CocoPerez.com (because I'm so fashionable, remember?) when I saw this:

-------------

Long hair is in!

Hair and makeup artist Norma Blaque has some tips to share with our CoColicious readers.

Check out some of her great tips when it comes to haircare

- More and more of my clients are over the short hair styles. Good bye to all bobs, A-lines and pixie cuts. Length, length, LENGTH is back this spring!!

source: Quick Tip Of The Day

- More and more of my clients are over the short hair styles. Good bye to all bobs, A-lines and pixie cuts. Length, length, LENGTH is back this spring!!

Great.

Pants

2011-03-16T06:25:00.001+08:00

When your denim short shorts have 2% elastic in them, the waistband goes all sorts of wonky after you machine wash and tumble dry them. Them buggers go on and try to play on your secret fat-fears by shrinking down a size (讨厌) from when you tried them on in the shop (which was already tight to begin with because you were reluctant to buy a size larger because you cannot be that big and besides, It'll stretch after a few wears! or in the wash. or you'll lose some weight, you're sure).

Some people spend a good part of 15 minutes ironing that stubborn _______(censored because my parents read this) out coaxing it to stretch back so their butts can fit in.

Not me. nuh-uh. Because that's 15 minutes of my life I'm never getting back.

So what I do is, imma put that piece of shrunken denim on with herculean effort and keep them on (while controlling my breathing so that I don't pop a button) until I've stretched it out to its breaking point, physically forcing it to straighten out.

Easy Breezy Wrinkle-free .

Sorted.

And that's why I'm wearing a pajama top paired with high-waisted denim shorts and Hello Kitty bedroom slippers in my room at 10.20pm.

Cos I'm hardcore that way. And really fashionable.

Here

2011-03-15T16:53:00.000+08:00

http://www.google.com/crisisresponse/japanquake2011.html

I'll let you know how my transaction went as soon as it shows up on my Internet Banking account.

19th of March 2011

2011-03-14T19:20:00.000+08:00

To commemorate my turning 21, something cool is going to happen:

Coming up later this month (March 19 to be exact) the moon will make its closest approach to Earth (called lunar perigee) in 18 years. A new or full moon at 90% or greater of its closest perigee to Earth has been named a “SuperMoon” by astrologer Richard Nolle. - planetsave.com

L'Évolution des cheveux

2011-03-14T06:02:00.000+08:00

Vous Aimez?

I've decided that

2011-03-13T20:17:00.001+08:00

my day starts off better if I obediently do the following before braving un nouveau jour.

1. Breakfast
Can't miss that shit. People should know they shouldn't mess with me at breakfast time. It's like playing with a lioness enjoying her buffalo carcass.

2. Pack my bag the day before
Sounds like I'm still in primary school and lugging around a 10 kg backpack to school everyday. Laugh or scoff if you wish, but I'm telling you that some of the things they drilled into us bob-haired girls and botak boys when we were little totsies actually makes sense.

Like packing your bag the day before, because if I go to uni and find out I didn't bring my student id, I'd have to start getting into all sorts of "pity me" characters with the guards just so I can get into lecture.

If I start the lecture and rummage around for my pencil case to no avail, it just ruins .my. class. and nobody else seems to have the same liking for g1 black 0.5 pens like me so I have to make do with something else. Ruined!

3. Listen to old school music while walking to and from class
Not Beatles old school. More like Billie Holiday old school and Christina Aguilera's old school-esque Candyman or Adele.

But then when my mind's being particularly active that day, I'd come up with comebacks to the lyrics I hear. Like the other day, I was listening to Jack Nicholson's rendition of La Vie en Rose and the way he sang it made me snort because he sounded like he was trying so hard to be so smooth and croon-y. And the lyrics...

When you press me to your heart,
I'm in a world apart.
A world where roses bloom.

In my head: A world where roses bloom would be this world, idiot.

4. Have had a good sleep the night before.
I don't need to write anything else because it's pretty self explanatory.

5. Wear underwear.

Absolutely crucial. Because people, if say it's winter and you were busy piling the layers on that you forget to wear , say, your bra, you WILL find out half an hour into your first class and you WILL feel ridiculously naked and you WILL have to run home to put on your armor and you WILL leave your bag in the lecture theatre and run home only to find you forgot to bring your keys and you WILL have to beg the security guard to let you into your accommodation building and you WILL feel extremely irritated because how can you forget to wear your bra, woman!

5 ways to start your day off right.

If I could have the answer to any question ...

2011-03-10T04:19:00.000+08:00

... I'd like to ask:

Why does the 1st floor North Wing girls loo smell permanently like fried chinese food?

I've tried to look into the bins to check for the source, but apart from the one time I saw a chinese takeaway bag, I've had no luck. The smell's there at 1 in the afternoon, 4 in the morning, 8 in the morning, so statistics suggest the smell's there 24/7.

Quel Bizarre.

If I could change the world,

2011-03-08T04:19:00.000+08:00

I'd make everyone put down the toilet lid before flushing.

It's amazing how many people disregard the fact that when you flush, little microscopic flecks of whatever you just dumped down that porcelain bowl jump out in a last victorious dance before the rest of it gets sucked into Neverland.

People, if you do not close the lid before flushing, shit will hit you. It'll be settling on your skin, your face, your eyeballs, the entrance of your nostrils, your mouth, your lips. EVERYTHING!

So close the lid.

Please.

How I Became a Part-time Vegan

2011-03-02T09:34:00.000+08:00

Voici la video qui m'a fait choisir être végétalien à temps partiel.

Après avoir regardé cette video, je sens que je ne peux pas manger des produits de viande ou des produits laitiers en sachant qu'il y a une chance que les animaux traités de cette façon avant d'être abattus.

Honnêtement, c'est pas le fait que les animaux meurent qui me dérange. C'est le fait qu'ils sont traités de cette manière cruelle que je ne veux pas accepter.

Si je peux me priver de soupe de requin ailettes depuis tant d'années, je suis sûr que je peux être une végétalien à temps partiel aussi. C'est vrai qu'il est très difficile, mais on peut toujours essayer.

Je sais que c'est pas toutes les fermes qui fonctionner cette façon, mais je veux protester le minorité qui le font.

Voici mon plan actuel:

Lundi: Vegan
Mardi: Vegetarian ( seules les viandes blanches. Sushi! yay. )
Mercredi: Vegan
Jeudi: Vegetarian
Vendredi : Vegan
Samedi: Manger tout ce que je veux!
Dimanche: Vegan

Pas mal, ouais? Voici le site pour les vegan: http://chooseveg.com

En fait, écrire ce en français a pris tant d'efforts et astuces tant par Google Translate. Il doit y'avoir beaucoup d'erreurs. meh.

Bonne nuit à tous.

Achievement of the Day

2011-02-10T09:06:00.000+08:00

Everyday, I achieve something ~~awesome~~ ~~grea~~t greawesome.

Today, I had my hair cut so straight, if you gunked up the ends with hair putty , it will work as a ruler.

ruler

01 February 2011

2011-02-02T04:12:00.000+08:00

One day, when we're out in the Big Bad World, most of us will come to regret all the information about ourselves that we made readily available on the Big Bad Web.

Clean Slate.